all the 9 to 5ers scrolling through tumblr at 7am like we're reading the morning paper. raising our coffee cups in greeting by reblogging each others posts.

lightning mcqueen waking up in an ice bath missing his catalytic converter

they’re living the dream

anyway i looked up the post about seeing your grandma's boobs and tumblr has deleted the screenshot of the story where the finnish dude says that americans are "like that" because they haven't seen their grandma's tits

good job tumblr 👍

there it is!

my comments on that post were (sorry for shamelessly copy-pasting them):

american attitudes about nudity are fucking wild, and the worst part is that because they're american, they just assume that everyone everywhere thinks the same. i will never forget seeing people on a left-leaning, progressive site saying that families bathing together is creepy and gross and clearly a sign that something is wrong with the family, that they'd never seen their siblings or parents naked and would in fact rather die. meanwhile to this day i bathe and go to the sauna with my sister and mother and have been bathing and sauna'ing with various family members - and even strangers! - my whole life.

but yes, can confirm, seeing your grandma's tits as a child does you good, and not just because it teaches you that "beauty is fake and temporary", but because it broadens your ideas about what beauty even is in the first place. my sister and i used to spend our summers at our grandma's house by the countryside and frequently bathed and went to sauna with her. we saw not just her breasts but also her flabby skin, her moles and liver spots, her body hair and varicose veins, and we didn't see any of that as weird or ugly because they were a part of our grandma who we loved very much. and when we see those things in other people - ourselves included! - we think "well it wasn't ugly on my grandma's body, so why would it be ugly on anyone else's body?". it makes you much more understanding and "forgiving", if you will, towards the completely normal bodies of strangers as well as your own body.

god it feels like lately we have lost so much progress in terms of movies and tv and gaming actually remembering that people with photosensitivity conditions (epilepsy, migraine, etc) exist and that it’s SO FREAKING EASY to not include effects in your media that will send them straight to hell

we went from early 2000s “we are all petrified of another Pokémon Shock incident so let’s be nice to the people whose brains can’t handle the flashes” to “nearly every movie and tv show has a flashing lights warning crowdsourced on social media and games have been so emboldened to not give a fuck that we had a game with a literal seizure inducing machine built in”. I literally do not get to watch anything on launch day anymore unless I think it’s worth the extremely non zero chance of having up to a week of pain so bad it can make me faint.

what the absolute fuck happened??

I feel guilty for not specifying that I don’t actually have epilepsy. I do however have photosensitive migraine. War Stars episode 9 setting the entire climax on the lightning planet sent me to the dark room pain zone for an entire week and I almost had to go to the emergency room for it though, so I think I do deserve to be part of the “STOP PUTTING FLASHING LIGHTS EVERYWHERE” conversation.

So this is a visual representation of “are the new users you’re changing the entire app and website layout/features for in the room with us right now”.

Anne Carson (2009)

Arthur S. Way (1898)

George Theodoridis (2010)

Ian C. Johnston (2010)

E.P. Coleridge (1910)

Theodore Alois Buckley (1892)

John Peck, Frank Nisetich (1995)

R. Potter (1906)

M. L. West (1987)

William Arrowsmith (1958)

Philip Vellacott (1972)

Michael Wodhull (1782)

Kenneth McLeish (1997)

David Kovacs (2002)

Andrew Wilson (1993)

Euripides - Original (408 BCE)

like sometimes you just have to toast yesterday’s bread put some sicilian tomatoes and a fuckton of mozzarella and oregano on it and call it a day

sorry. sorry it's pissing me the fuck off that people are assuming i didn't put olive oil on this. you think im putting unseasoned tomatoes on my bruschetta. do you genuinely think i didn't pour oil on that toasted bread the moment it came off the pan. of course i added fucking olive oil and salt and stuff like who the fuck do you think i am do you think i was raised by fucking wolves. i didn't mention it because it's obvious. automatic. implicit. did i add olive oil. did i. i'll tell you more actually not only did i add olive oil but my olive oil is extra super virgin in a way your oil will never be because it comes directly from my olives. you cunts

Reblog for sample size. I’m multiple of these, but pick the one you resonate with most.

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.

We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry but we're bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.